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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Sense of Relief

Now that everything is out there and we have an approach in place to avoid problems in the future, we are going to try and get back to 'normal'.  I feel the weight of the world off me now that everything is in the open.  I don't feel the need to defend myself here - my sincerity will be proven over time.  If you were here and saw the changes, you might understand.  As soon as his job situation is stabilized, we will begin working toward fixing things.  This includes selling the house and my working off of cash only.  From there, I will get a job and start adding back in what I spent.  I am selling everything that I cannot return on eBay as well.

We were intimate yesterday for the first time in a long time.  It felt great.  I love my husband will not throw that away over my problem.  We are moving forward.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Addressing Husband's Post

I am sure most of you saw my husband post.  Let me tell you that I am sick about what I have done.  I have a problem.  I think it comes from my childhood when I had nothing.  It could also come from a feeling of isolation that I have living where we do.   I  know I have put many things at risk because of my compulsive behavior.  I am selling everything and returning what I can.  It makes me very sad and anxious as I have betrayed my husbands trust and put the life my child has gotten to know at risk.

As for controlling my husbands sex, this period has been the closest we have ever been.  I would hate to give that up.  Right now though, I am trying to deal with the problems at hand.

PS: I don't think this form of intimacy is appropriate for the blogs but he can have this forum.  I always thought of the blogs as a form of entertainment for you all. 

Friday, June 25, 2010

Ruined Orgasms, A How-To

Looking online, it seems that most people do not do a ruined orgasm.  From experimenting with my husband, I think I know the most effective way to do it.

First, I think the best ones include no stimulation of the shaft.  That is a personal choice. The reason that I say this is because men are used to the shaft being stroked.  The mental part of no stroking of the shaft is important to changing the feelings that they have.  I prefer to rub the area between the balls and the anus.  At first, I am much rougher.  I can see that he struggles with not telling me to stop.  After a bit of that, I back off and massage that area less roughly.   Another important part is that they must ask to orgasm.  You can try and see every twitch but it works much better if they need to warn you well in advance.  Once they begin warning you, stop stimulation and wait.  Give then 30-60 second breaks and then restart.  When I am doing the best, he begins thrusting his hips into the air.  Try and get them to settle down and be less showy.  As they feel the need to orgasm, keep edging them closer and closer.   At this point, what you are trying to do is get one big drop of semen on the tip.  As soon as you get this, stop stimulation and the session is over.  In future sessions, you can push them a little further.  The goal as I see it is to have them orgasm just a little about 30-60 seconds after all stimulation is removed.  When I've asked my husband about this, he says that he fights against the orgasm but at one point, he has no ability to control things and the desire to cum just overwhelms him.  With stimulation removed at just the right time, that sensation leads to the smallest of semen releases.  He is hornier than ever after I have done this.  This is why I think cock cages are important as it is doubtful that most men can control their urge to stroke to orgasm.  Eventually, my husband learned to like this form of orgasm so much that he almost didn't want a full orgasm.  This is because he was getting attention from me every night.

I hope this helps.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Question to the Readers

As I am trying to rekindle my sex drive, what do you think I should do next?  All of this drama at home has killed my desires.  He seems to be snapping back.  I touch him and he is squirming.  I think some of my desire be be tied to getting back to exercising.  Another part is akin to the exercise.  If you miss one day - no big deal.  Two days - it gets tougher.  A week - what is exercise? This may be some of what I am experiencing.  Another part is clearly the stresses of life.

He is finally getting back to exercise today.  The last six months, he has been unable to breathe let alone exercise.  I think it is good for his body and his psyche to begin again.  Now I need to listen to my own medicine.

Feel free to post a note here, send me something when I am online in the pingbox to the right of this post or to my email.  I have it on many nights.  I know a number of you have been or are going through what I am and I would love your thoughts, suggestions and ideas.


Sunday, June 20, 2010

Saturday Orgasm for him

Yesterday, I gave my husband a hand job.  No teasing, just straight to climax.  My goal was to reset his body and mind to what we had before the work assholes started messing with him.   You could tell that he had not orgasmed in nearly two weeks.  After he came, it just kept oozing out in smaller spasms for a long time.

After that, I told him that he needs to put the cage back on.  He stated that he is still getting his libido back and would never touch himself.  Still, I want to get him back into the swing of what we had going on before.  Also, I will be leaving him alone for a few weeks this summer.  It will be close to three weeks.  There is no way I will leave him here alone without the cage.  By having him caged, he can focus on fixing up the house and finding a job without the thought of orgasm while I don't need to be wondering what he is up to.

Next thing to do is get my libido back up.  All of this drama has been a big distraction.  Hopefully, he will find a new situation soon.  With the school year starting in just two months, I would like things solved before the school year starts.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Husband is calming down

As his post showed, he is thankfully out of the awful job working for selfish people.  This will reduce the stress on him and as such me too.

We are alone tonight - he has been remaking the office so he can work there.  Shortly, I will be going to bed.  With the house free of our child tonight, maybe we can get back on track.  I am very tired so possibly the morning.

We are both going to try and restart the blogs.  Hopefully, we will have more fun things to post over the next few days.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Giving Him Some Room

If you follow this blog or my husbands, you know he is going through problems at work.  I think what upsets him most is that they double-crossed him on his work cutting him out of not only a good amount of money but also a job.  He compares this in many ways to Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged".  While I haven't read it, the greed of people who do half the work of him is very discouraging.  I think men compare self worth to their jobs and this big surprise really shook him.  I've tried to distract him by staying in the mold that we have created and discussed on here but his mind is way too preoccupied.  As such, I think it is best to support him and give him some breathing room.  I not happy as this has been a lot of fun for both of us but I don't think he will stay in this headspace for too long.  Once he regains his bearings and has confidence that he will not be unemployed for long, I think he will snap back quickly.  Until then, I will practice support and patience waiting for him to find the light at the end of the tunnel.

I know this isn't the type of post that you all like but better ones are coming.  Hopefully this proves that this blog is real. 

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Sunday and this week

Sorry for not updated recently.  Husband has been under the weather and child has been around so not a lot to update.  I have a little from Sunday but I will have my husband write that up.  I'll do a better update probably Friday.